Bras and Bodies

Internets, how are you doing? I’m doing pretty good. Here is a picture of hot chocolate with two hearts floating in the foam:

hot chocolate

So, Internets, I am a bra professional! Have been for a while, actually – one of my days at Retail Job involves being the Lingerie Lady, which is interesting and occasionally fun, and involves lots and lots of mourning the adorable bras I can never wear because goddammit they never make the cute ones big enough.

Anyway, I occasionally fit teenagers or tweens, which can be challenging! And sometimes parents will look at me and want to share their frustration as their teen refuses to let me in the changing room and instead I try to fit them based on guesswork and narrowing down the options until the teen declares themselves satisfied.

And you know, it can take longer, and it is sometimes frustrating (sometimes not. On slow days, I LONG for a shy teenager). But even when I’m rushed and it’s taking a while to get the right option sorted, I don’t really mind.

You see, internets, I advocate teenagers having authority over their bodies and who sees which parts of it – including whether or not they want a strange adult to be in the changing room with them while they try on bras.

There are many good reasons why teenagers might not want strange adults to see them in a state of partial undress and vulnerability, but even if said teenager has a ridiculous reason, such as the belief that their breasts would turn into rabbits and hop away if said strange adult saw them, said teenager ought to have authority over their body and who sees which parts of it.

I do not advocate parents trying to strong-arm their teenagers into having a strange adult in the room while they try on bras.

Yes, it definitely makes my job easier.

Yes, I could almost certainly do a better fit if I could judge band elasticity and cup filling.

Yep, I have totally seen it all before, and will again. Other people’s breasts are rarely objects of interest to me anyway – when I’m on the job, they are nothing more than architectural problems. I am not comparing and contrasting your size and shape to those of every other customer and ranking them in order from most amazing to most appalling, (even if I believed one could do that, which I do not.) I am mentally going through our stock selection to see if I can provide some good choices for your particular rack.

But regardless, teenagers who enter my ambit, you get to decide if you want me in that room. It’s your body. It’s up to you.

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  • Kaia

    Can I just say, you are an AWESOME Lingerie Lady. Time for a person anecdote, I think, to back up this already pretty obvious statement.

    So, my lovely boss who owns a fabric shop (best job ever) bought a second shop a couple of years ago – a lingerie shop. Once people started hearing that there was a new owner the sales went way up, and as time passed it turned out that many, many women (not just teenagers!) had been hesitant to go there because the previous owner, a man in his 60s, jumped into the changing rooms without asking. He was never interested in creepy staring or anything, and much like you he was of the architectural problems persuasion, but he never asked. And he was a man. And by default, that is creepy. And as soon as people learned he was gone they were less reluctant to do the shopping.

    So thanks for being an awesome Lingerie Lady and respecting those kids’ boundaries even when the reasons for them are infuriatingly and ridiculously strange. I have so much love for that, because honestly? I was one of those people, refusing to go to that store (the only one in town) for years and years.

  • Â That is a sad yet excellent story.